A fellow caregiver emailed me, “How is your health? Do you have days you feel lousy and don’t really know why?”
Recently I have had days I felt completely lazy and unmotivated. I have been tired but shouldn’t have been. I’ve had less self-control with eating and using my time. This evening I found some insight.
Don has an appointment next week to check the growth of his abdominal aortic aneurysm. For several years, these appointments have come around every twelve and more recently every six months. Each time, we wonder if the aneurysm has enlarged enough that Don will need surgery.
This is big for Don. He is a poor surgical risk for various reasons and could die or have profound complications from the surgery. As he approaches his appointment, he has been mulling over sobering options. Like some people who receive a grim cancer diagnosis, Don wonders if he should choose treatment with its risks, or if he should instead decide to “live until he dies.”
Tonight Don said, “I think I’m leaning more toward having the surgery. When I think of you and the grandkids…” This marked a change of thought from recent weeks.
I know this issue has weighed on Don, but I didn’t realize or admit until tonight the effect on me. It now makes sense why I have felt lazy, unmotivated, tired, and lacking in self-discipline.
What helps us cope and gives us hope: Family members and friends have listened to Don’s sobering deliberations and supported him. Their love and our love for each other, along with prayers for wisdom, give us confidence that when the time comes, we will know what to do.
Questions for our readers: What sobering inevitabilities sometimes weigh you down? What helps you cope?
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